The Calm of Death

In the early hours of a typical Sunday morning, I jumped over and side-stepped graves all around me as I made my way towards where my grandfather slept six feet beneath the ground.

I kept talking to myself as was a habit of mine which was always intensified whenever I found myself alone. Stepping over the last of the taller graves and reading out the familiar names on the tombstones that always conveniently served as directions for me, I finally approached my destination.

I felt… strange. Surrounded by more than five thousand graves in the centre of one of the largest graveyards in the city, I felt… peace.

It was dead silent. I was so far deep into the cemetery that the noise of the world could not reach me. There wasn’t a living soul in sight and the only sounds that I could hear were the birds in the surrounding trees and the rustling of the leaves on the branches above me.

I hadn’t known peace like this before. A feeling of certainty that this is exactly the place where I’m supposed to be right now. I felt… alone. In a world full of people, I felt I was the only one left and I realized that the only one I need to connect with is my inner self.

I hoped, no, I prayed that all those who laid there slept in peace and that they all were happy somewhere up in heaven.

I walked away from that place, my head and eyes towards the ground and my hopes soaring higher than the clouds.

Follow your passion!

I stand at a crossroad
A decision to be made
Visions of my past
Obscuring, before me what lay

Remove all doubts
Let go of all fears
Take the first step
with my mind austere

I must close my eyes
and my heart must be resolute
the time has come
for me to make my move

It has been decided
and I walk my chosen path
I shall face all hardships
with no fear in my heart

Befriend yourself…

How many times have we come across people who capture our attention from the start. They captivate us and if with the passage of time they become our close friends, we tend to rely on them to be there for us whenever and however we need them. We find comfort in talking to some and with others we find it difficult to share even the most trivial of things.

While it is great to have someone of such importance in our lives, one mistake we make is to rely on them so much that in their absence we feel lost and we feel that nothing can help us in our time of misery.

Speaking from experience I have faced certain situations where I had absolutely no one to turn to and no one I could share my state of mind with. As most writers, I too tend to over think and dwell on things, not because I’m weak, but because I feel everything, be it sadness or happiness, a lot more deeply, just like all writers do.

I realised when I found myself all alone in a room with nothing but my thoughts that if there is anyone a person should completely rely on, it’s themselves. You will never leave yourself alone and you will always be there whenever you need yourself. The only thing we fail to achieve is the ability to speak to our inner self.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and I will share more about this on a later post.

If you would like to contribute to ‘Ak the Wordsmith’ and my goals as a writer, you can do so by visiting my Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/akthewordsmith

Thank you for reading.

Adil Khan – Ak the Wordsmith

Recall…

December 5, 2012. The first night I created this blog and the night I wrote my very first post. It’s been more than four years, yet there is something about tonight that urged me to write once again after having taken an unwanted break from my blog for months.

Perhaps it is the sky tonight with the similar shade of purple it had on that fateful night… Perhaps it is the moon and how it plays hide and seek amongst the clouds just as it did on that night, or perhaps it is simply the fact that tonight I feel as lonely as I had felt on that very night when I realized that I have always been alone, and the presence of everyone around me is merely an illusion… a fallacy that my mind has created to ease the pain.

I can’t complain, or rather I shouldn’t complain, for it is the only way of survival I have ever known. It is rather strange to feel exactly the way I did so many nights ago, when the only friends I had were the clouds swimming in the purple sea, the wind whistling through the rustling trees and the stars and the moon smiling down as if trying to comfort me.

And now that I once again continue on my path, I welcome you to join me. It is a long road that we must travel, and I can only wish to see a company so fine as yours along the uncharted road called life.

 

She finally found it…

She used to be among those who dreamed
Afraid of the obstacles that stood in between
With her wings spread wide, she has now taken flight
She has finally found her purpose, her passion in life

Dedication: F.n.k

Negativity…

They say the world is full of negativity, little do they realize they just added a whole lot of negativity with this thought.

Purpose…

The day you realize that all this is an illusion, is the day you will have truly found your purpose.

Better safe than sorry…

Some barriers aren’t meant to be broken
Some obstacles aren’t meant to be overcome.
Some dragons aren’t meant to be woken
Some people aren’t meant to be disturbed

Passion truth…

Everyone possesses a passion for something and has a hunger for that passion.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for the hunger.
Fortunately, there are ways to feed the hunger.

To forget or not to forget…

There comes a time when all of us at some point in our lives wish to forget someone or something. I believe if i think long enough I will be able to recall some instances where I may have felt the same way.

The thing I noticed about this is a rather common yet unintentional mistake that we make. We focus on the thing that we are trying to forget so much that we end up making it next to impossible to forget it.

We think about the person or thing we wish to forget not knowing that thinking about it just makes it more prominent in our minds. Imagine a picture of a beach with the silhouette of a person walking on the beach in the center of the picture. Now if one is asked to cut out the person from the picture and imagine the picture without the person, he would still have the person in the same position in the picture in his mind. That is because we concentrate on the person to cut him out off the picture, sometimes to the extent that the person becomes the only thing of interest in the picture to us and we end up ignoring the setting altogether. One may even say that although we cut the body of the person from the picture, his soul still lingers there.

To sum up, all I can say is,

“Thinking about something or someone is not the most appropriate of ways to forget about that something or someone.”

                                             – Ak the Wordsmith